Screening a Very Nice Person
I’ve recently received an email from a gentleman who wanted to have an appointment with me. Other than the requested date and time and his signed initial “N” at the end of his faltering email I have had no other information about him. It's not the first time of this kind of an email and I know it's not the last.
When I asked him to please provide the required information, he told me that he is a newbie and he read that I was newbie friendly. Alternative screening also would not work for him since he is a very private person and extremely discreet.
When I told him, I can not meet without any screening, he made an interesting comment.
“Well, I don’t know who you “really” are and I am taking a big chance with you, aren’t I? ... and I already feel very nervous contacting you. Please consider that.”
Of course I did not meet Mr. Paranoiac, but what does he, or others like him expect us to say?
“Ah yeah that's ok if you are a newbie. I don't need to know your real name, or any name. I don't need to know how you look, how old you are. I don't need any references since I don't need to know if you are a sex offender, serial killer, a rapist, criminal. I don't care if you stink, rude, a thief. That's ok. Just come over, I am so hungry and horny for whoever you are. And of course I understand your concern and paranoia of meeting an established woman with few pages of reviews, photos, website, and history. All good. Just come over.”?
Screening is for the safety of both parties.
Screening is to make sure we are a good match.
Screening is for peace of mind.
Screening is part of the procedure, and mostly done only once.
Screening is a good thing and shows that I take what I do seriously.
Screening shows that I also do take you very seriously.
If I am not screening you that means I probably haven’t been screening others either, and that means I have been taking a big risk and increasing my risk every time I don’t screen, and that means I am also taking a big risk with you, and that means you are actually taking a much bigger risk with me.
Your charm, your smooth talk and "that twinkle" in your eye are not enough for screening.
Ted Bundy was very charming, a smooth talker and he had “that” twinkle in his eye also.
So, what's your name again?